It's All Greek To Me

The one thing the Greeks have mastered is their ability to fat jab people constantly all the while maintaining a straight face. Our adventures in Athens and Santorini were often lined with beautiful clothing with me often inspecting them. They never once failed to point out that they had "bigger sizes" or that the clothes were "stretchy" or had "elastic". Now I am not in any denial here knowing where the fatness lies but that is no way to sell your shit. I swear if I heard one more time that they had bigger sizes I would grab my belly and pull out my dads old stand by: bought and paid for and just walk away, what a bunch of skinny ass hats. 

So not only have the Greeks mastered the fat jabs we can also thank them apparently for democracy and theatre. A little history lesson from my travels on Greece taught me that Ancient Greece specifically Athens is much older than Ancient Rome (well Rome the power house) and developed a lot of things that are still in use today, on top of the aforementioned democracy and theatre but apparently it is in Athens the reason behind the marathon. Apparently the Athenian soldiers defeated the Persians in a battle and to avoid the potential of surrendering to the Persians maneuvering to  the Port for battle one solider ran the 26.2 miles after a long battle to send the news to the troops within the city that they had won. The solider died of exhaustion but with his last dying breath he was able to say victory (in Greek of course) to avoid the surrender. All this resulting in the marathon run as you know it, the name coming from the place of Marathon to city center. Clearly they were too busy creating things like democracy and theatre when they could have seriously used an invention like smoke signals. 

So Greek mythology has always been an interest of mine always trying to find our more about the myths, the gods and all the mere mortals that all went with the legends. Now there is also the fact that I am die hard Disney so while we were walking around Athens all that was going through my mind was the soundtrack of Hercules (Disney version) which got louder when entering the temple of Zeus. Europe is known for its extravagant cathedrals, churches and basilicas so it was nice to go where we can take a break and visit temples. For those who don't know ancient Greeks believed that if you were to give offerings to the gods that they would help you. So around Athens there are a couple of temples still up all dedicated to a different god. Each temple similar but also different in the tiny details according to Greek mythology you were to forget a God you would be punished. That is where most myths come from one God being upset because they were being ignored and would punish people. I wish that was life right now, I would punish anyone who forgot to offer me cake. 

Athens on the side of beggars, annoying men selling shit was slightly more subdued. Where there weren't men selling stupid selfie sticks there were children on the train playing the accordion. This was hard for me cause they have no issues invading your personal space making it impossible for me to keep a straight face. This seemed to make them try harder leaving me almost laughing saying no. Apparently in awkward situations I've developed a laughing reaction adding to the ever present bitch face. Not only are there awkward children but also old ladies with roses. Their trick is to give you a "free" Rose and when you do decide to take it they demand money from you. We witnessed a poor man who had to almost fight off this old lady as she was shoving the rose literally at the guys neck. The sad part wasn't the man trying to avoid the lady or the lady trying to force this man to take the Rose but the fact that the man had to be saved by none other than his wife. My travel partner chose a different tactic he decided to jump up at the last minute when the rose was being presented causing the rose to fall to the ground making a huge commotion and with the final result of the lady calling him crazy down the street. Again I resorted to laughter to such an awkward situation trying to distance myself between me and "the crazy man".

It was so great to see a city with ruins the dated before Christ and to have a city full of people so proud of their beginnings that it sucked to leave Athens. From Athens we went to Santorini. A beautiful island with houses built into the Cliffside sailboats sailing on the Mediterranean Sea and no commercialism anywhere in sight. The island is composed of different communities scattered and a bus system that is so sporadic that you would be lucky to catch a bus within five hours. We managed to pick the very best time to go to the island with little to no people around. We went to a beach that is normally crowded with chairs and people and we were one of the few there, oia  which is said to have the best sunset in the world had only 10 tourists that we could count (during the day). Because I like to torture myself apparently we decided that it was necessary to Rent-A-Car, if there is ever a bad moment for backseat driving it is driving along the cliff in a foreign country in a smart car. The sad little smart car was definitely put through its paces with me at the wheel and my travel partner at my side. My beautiful Red jeep Loretta would've made the cliffside her bitch. There are moments where you would be driving along the cliff and it would look as though your car was going to right over the edge, I am surprised the Smart car still has a floor considering my travel partner was definitely trying to put his foot down to stop us Flintstone style. The obvious and most simple solution to all of it would just be my travel partner getting a license. There is nothing like saying do you know how to drive to end an argument so maybe you can hold off a little bit longer. 

The island was pretty much closed down for the season all hopes of making good money off a tourist gone with the last hot summer days. Although it was a good +21 on the one-day you were lucky to encounter any open shops or restaurants. Considering that were broke and can't afford restaurant food or luxurious clothes this didn't phase me too much. Going when we did we were able to see the island for what it was a beautiful place along the wide-open sea without the gimmicks that usually get when visiting a place this beautiful. I've seen pictures where the island is wall-to-wall people how do you get to enjoy a place like that when for the most part you're seeing the back of peoples heads trying to get a good view. We did a day trip to a volcano and hot springs. Being a northern Canadian you hear Hot Springs and you picture yourself waiting into the liard Hot Springs apparently Hot Springs in Greece means jumping off a boat and swimming to brown water that is colder than the Bluewater you left behind. To add insult to injury your swimming in salt water so it tastes disgusting and you're trying to awkwardly swim with your mouth out of the water although that doesn't provide any kind of efficiency. Seeing as my travel partner doesn't know how to swim I took this venture solo. We had plans of him wading in the shallow area while I went for a swim but that all changed when we learned that you had jump off the boat into water 10 metres deep. I don't think his mom would have liked me making her swimming illiterate son jump off a boat into the water for "the experience of it". So in I went and it tasted awful and was no where near warm. 

Santorini was a constant uphill exercise, full of stairs, hills, strategically avoiding donkey shit, and trying not to die going up the steepest hill climbs. Every minute there was an adventure even if people still managed to get their fat jabs in. It is definitely a place for couples or even for singles looking to couple up, it is romantic in every way an island can be romantic. Between the white houses topped with blue roofs, manicured beaches, sunsets where the sun meets the sea, hell they even managed to make the donkey rides look like a romantic adventure. Santorini is a must see.  It is a lot different from the island we hail from. 

We are currently in Barcelona where the beauty is not in nature but in the architecture. Our first day here being a whopping +21 it appears our summer has not quite ended. I know my friends and family at home might not like to hear this but we have experienced a 6 month long summer and are ready for some winter. We still have Madrid and Portugal so we shall see if we will ever get to cool down. 

When In Rome Do As The Romans Do

We arrived in Rome from Florence on a very hot October day. This has been the longest summer we have encountered and I understand that there are people dealing with snow at home but I just want WINTER. So sick of sweating buckets while carrying the packs, let's just hope it is just my extra fat sweating off. 

On my previous adventure to Rome with my sister it seemed a little ghetto but still beautiful. Well apparently in the two years I have been gone apparently it has gotten more ghetto. We were warned constantly about pick pockets, beggars and men trying to sell garbage every where. We also had a roommate in Prague that told us about how someone CUT her purse and stole it without her noticing. This just resulted in me giving the shifty eyes to anyone who dared coming near who looked suspicious my arms ready to go in karate mode at a moments notice.  There were these men all over the streets who are selling these stupid selfie sticks - a stick device you hold out with your camera or phone attached giving you the best picture. I have a pretty big camera so there is no use for one and I strongly believe  you look like an idiot with one I was not their selling audience. Despite my obvious bitch face these men still came right up to your face and try and sell you this stupid stick all the while saying selfie. The worst of it is that you say no to about ten guys and there are still ten more coming towards thinking that you will suddenly change your mind and purchase their more special selfie stick. I have a good idea for the placement of those sticks but it is not somewhere these men would like. Oh they would be lucky all right. 

Our first full day in the city we booked a tour to do the Colosseum, Palatine Hill and The Roman Forum. This was an interesting tour that allowed for some historical information on the power that was Ancient Rome but you need to have a great imagination to have the ability to picture everything. The biggest problem in picturing anything is that they built building on top of other buildings. Now you're thinking "so?" right? Well the problem is that all ruins are there for your viewing pleasure with vague descriptions of what is what. So you see Ancient Rome ruins of a social square underneath a church, it makes the brain hurt a little. While on this tour we went to the basement of the colosseum where they held Gladiators, wild animals and props. They used a very intricate system when doing these shows with trapdoors lifting the animals out and underneath tunnels where the men running around by torch light organized all of it. It was undoubtably an inhuman form of entertainment but you got to appreciate their attention to details. 

The colosseum was half under scaffolding due to the pollution of passing traffic making it a very dirty black. I didn't even realize that was a possibility but it really obstructed the beauty of the building as a whole. Now if you ever find yourself in Rome I would very highly suggest going on this special colosseum tour if you can get over the tour guide's not so subtle hints for conservation donations. It gives you a different perspective than just regular entrance. I am very disappointed that I missed my chance to recreate The Gladiator scene with Russell Crowe screaming but I am sure I will get a chance another time -- most likely while teaching. 

Our weekend in the city was mostly uneventful mostly just exploring the city. We made plans to see the Trevi fountain, the most famous fountain in the city. The fountain that when you throw coins in determines your return to Rome. Well after making the 25 minute journey there we discovered it was CLOSED!!! It so happens that they are doing restoration work on it and it allows you to walk on this runway to allow you to get a closer look on the picture of the fountain covering the work. The most confusing part is that people were actually lined up to see this picture, hands down the most disappointing point of our trip. The rest of the day we just went through the city exploring different alleyways and different routes of the city. We went to the park called Villa Borghese and it was massively green and quiet. The one thing that I am envious about the European is their idea of leisure. There were dozens of people laying around with picnics, lawn games, family and friends having fun. This is something that you would be hard pressed to find back at home, Sunday Funday meaning something completely different. 

Monday was Vatican day. The best way to do the Vatican is to do a guided tour with the Vatican. This we soon learned that having this guided tour meant that we had priority. We had a very small tour guide when I can remind you of your feistiness grandmother and she maneuvered the crowds like a boss. She even went as far as to tell other tour guides that they were being too loud and that they should move because we were with the Vatican and we had priority. At one point she was an entire hallway length away from us maneuvering the crowd like it was nothing all we could see of her was the her museum flag. Now if you find yourself at the museum make sure you go in the afternoon the morning crowds are just ridiculous. You are trying to appreciate the art and history and the religion in each of the rooms but really you're just trying to not invade someone's personal space. Also be prepared for people who no regards for the rules in the Sistine Chapel where you are  supposed to be quiet there are people talking as loud as if they were yelling. The teacher in me was trying really hard not to shush everyone, instead I was giving the judgemental head shake. There is so much to describe the Vatican City it's hard to do in just one post and even then it's really hard to truly get the beauty of the city. As a result I'm not even going to try, is one of those things that you have to see for yourself. 

We left rome in an early flight to head off to Athens. The true challenge of Greece will not be the non existence subways that my travel partner is worried about but it will be the Greek alphabet that will be where the real fun is at.